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Bonjour!
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In The Stars Something in my mind told me that...
.A-YO ! Hello Everybody(!)?
Hi there. Well, lemme apologize to you a real quick. My amnesia is getting worse nowsaday, yet that one thing I wanna forget the most is still in my core memory, alive. The thing is, another huge wound occured. Last August 2nd 2022 was unforgettable. That exact morning, that uneasy feeling that wakes me up, I can still feel it till today. I still remember that morning, I woke up feeling unsettle and checking my phone. 5.28 a.m. I was casually chatting via WhatsApp with my friend, whom happened to be having to work on a morning shift so she also woke up early. Funny part is that she sent me a Tik Tok account of her friend for only us and God know why. Not even 10 minutes later, my mom knocked my bedroom door, crying, before telling me the news I still refuse to accept. It's like a sword to my ears. She told me "Mang, akek d dah nadai ( Your grandfather passed away)". Just like that, half of my world collapsed. My mom right after told me that, she looked at me with her teary eyes, nodded her head to clarify me that it's not a dream before closed the door and left me. It took me a minute to digest the info, before I totally lost it and burst in tears. My grandfather, Augustine Kunjan was a very noble and loving figure to me in my 25 years of being his first grandchild. He's not that grandfather whom spoil his grandchildren with wealth, he's that home where you will wanna to come to as often as possible. He will brag and ensure every single person he met know that he always proud of his grandchildren no matter what kind of achievement it is. If that thing is his grandchildren' excitements, then it will be his as well. Time keep on passing by and he was getting older and lost like 30% of his senses, be it hearing or sighting, but that was fine as long as he recognized me and still wanna talk with me, I was grateful. I can tell him whatever I want without feeling judged. He will just sit there, sipping his coffee, smiling and laughing depends on my face expression while telling him sort of stuffs. I always amazed by how he was able to just go along with me, neither any questions nor interruption happened. Every single time, he would've laughed, amazed and mesmerised with my stories. Never once, he compared any of his grandchildren between each other or with other people. For him, all of us have our very own stories. Now that he's no longer seen, everything is dull to me. He was the one whom taking care of my father's house, which is his eldest son. I don't know if I will be able to look at our house the same way anymore. I mean, everyday he will sit there with a cup of coffee in front of our door. That is what hurting me more because I would've join him, with my very own cup of coffee. Even silence feels comfortable when I see him, and that's when I can confirmed that I took after him. He took a big piece of my heart and let it rest in peace with him. I tried to convince myself that this phase will go soon. Yet, here I am still crying while driving whenever his image comes in my mind. I miss him, forever.
Here's Your Perfect
Written by Ann
Bucket Lists? Something in my mind told me that...
.A-YO ! Hello Everybody(!)?
When I was younger, I always said to myself that I will achieve everything I want. And now, when I'm growing up to be an adult, I wanna be the younger version of me and I will tell myself that whatever happens are destined.
I keep on changing my bucketlists; everytime. I can't believe I finally continue this post that I left long time ago (it stated here dated August 24th 2018 at 2.06PM). But, guess what time is it now that I'm typing all this starting from the word 'everytime' up there? It's 10.48PM of June 7th in the year of freaking 2022 !!!!
I tell you what, there were so many things happened that I don't even wanna know where to start. But hey! Gotta stick to the title I guess. Lemme figured out few things;
- I have finished my degree! Your girl Ann is a Bachelor in Technology Management with Honors!
- Also, I got a very official job last March 2021. And that during a pandemic ! Duh!
- I finally got to bring my parents to my C-O-N-V-O-C-A-T-I-O-N DAY ! It was held last February 2022, it got delayed due to pandemic. They cried on that day, and so was I.
- I am currently in process of getting my VERY OWN CAR! Your girl is getting her own CAR! I already bought my beautiful accessories. I promise to show you when my pretty princess got into my hand.
- Travelling. I still haven't got the chance to do so but this will be like my before-I-die kind of thing. You know your girl will turn
25 next 2 days. Probably time to ask for green pass for travelling? I wish.
Well that's it I guess. Seems like I am back to blogging. I miss myself typing this kind of thing actually. Probably going to writing again soon? I don't know though. I've been completely different person past years. Not trynna go back to my past self, just wanna improve myself with my past hobbies. If that what we called it. I wanna do things I like again. I miss it so much.
Here's Your Perfect
Written by Ann
Its Died Something in my mind told me that...
.A-YO ! Hello Everybody(!)?
When you're no longer feels the butterflies
The butterflies in my stomach are dead
They died.
I no longer feel the beat
I feel empty
Nothing
I tried
I want to open up my heart
I want to feel the excitement
Again
But its a failure
What a magic. I wonder what kind of pain hit me during my past that make me became someone heartless. Completely heartless. Being heartless is not an easy thing. There is no more love in it. Feels like you have no heart. It's not like I want to be in love, it just I kinda miss that stuff. Crush on someone, tell my friends about him. But, what I've done so far was telling my friends about people who tried to open up my heart for me, but they failed. I tried to be more open minded about it so I told my friends, but there were no feeling anymore. All the messages, tweets, they were just a LIE for I-Dont-Know-The-Reason. There is no longer feeling in my heart. Its been a long time since those butterflies awaken. Today, I realise that they are dead. The butterflies in my stomach now slowly turn into dust and fly away. It hurts being heartless. The pain is real.
Here's Your Perfect
Written by Ann
Can I? Something in my mind told me that...
.A-YO ! Hello Everybody(!)?
There were times where I lost my focus
It's week 3 now, as I stated before here I have no regret with what I chose now. I satisfied with everything. My room, my bed, my locker, my housemates, my roommates well maybe classmates too.
Or maybe I can still feel comfort with everything despite that all of it is new to me. I mean, it just week 3. I have to survive here for 4 years! Maybe the obstacle isn't here yet or maybe it's waiting for the right time to crash on me.
I have to compete with people that are older than me, and it's not fun. I mean, I became a leader and need to lead those people that older than me. As beginner, I did quite a good job because they listened to me or maybe because they needed to listen to my words. But trust me, it was not easy to command people that older that you. Sometimes I feel rude.
To add more, I have 8 classes per week. It quite challenging you know in waiting for buses to come and pick you up to go to the class and those buses ignore you because the drivers needed to rest but excuse me sir, we're late already. And the next 2 buses also don't wanna stop. And when the fourth bus stop, in a blink of eyes, you can see the people in the bus look like Sardine fishes filled in a small can. NO! Do not expect me to go in there and stuffed. One hour to get a bus, what a 'convenient' service. I paid thousands only to get this kind of services. Wow! Impressive! What next? No bus during weekend. Okay, I'm fine. I can walk to the campus to go to the library. It just 5 kilometres away. I'm fine with it. Only to know that library closed on weekend. Yeah. Still fine.
Those things that happened, is like a piece of paper to me. Why? Because the harder ones are waiting in the future. Ini baru sikit weh. banyak lagi beratur di hadapan menanti masa sesuai untuk cabar diri ini. But to be honest, I am sure enough that I can face all this things. It just I can't handle people. The biggest obstacle no matter where you go.
I bet I need to be a person to handle people or maybe just be a potato. The spicy one.
Here's Your Perfect
Written by Ann
New Lifestyle Something in my mind told me that...
.A-YO ! Hello Everybody(!)?
7 September 2016
Lokasi menaip isi blog ini ialah di Universiti Tun Hussein Onn Malaysia. Ya. Saya terima tawaran untuk menyambung pelajaran saya ke peringkat Ijazah Sarjana Muda dalam Pengurusan Teknologi tanpa kesal. Saya terima tawaran walaupun terkilan kerana tawaran tersebut merupakan pilihan keempat semasa membuat permohonan upu dulu tapi sebab sepanjang pendaftaran saya, semuanya berjalan dengan begitu lancar tanpa ada sebarang gangguan. Maka saya yakin akan jalan yang Tuhan permudahkan untuk saya.
Harini jam 11 pagi saya akan melangkah masuk ke kelas kelima saya minggu ini iaitu kelas Tamadun Islam dan Tamadun Asia. Subjek wajib. Kena hadir. Tetapi masalah sikit bila tak dapat daftar koko. Bukan masalah sangat sebab boleh ambil bila-bila tapi itulah gelabah kan sebab tak pernah buat semua ni. Jadual semua kena buat sendiri.
Tak cukup lagi, hari pertama aja sesat cari kelas. Nasib datang awal sejam sebelum kelas bermula, ada masa untuk pusing satu fakulti dengan classmate. Dulu ingatkan masa sesi orientasi, abang2 kakak2 fasi akan tunjuk atau ajar cara susun jadual dan lokasi2 yang berkemungkinan diadakan kelas. Tapi asyik bertepuk tangan aja. Haha, Tak apa la itu pun menyeronokkan. Tambah lagi dengan gimik yang memang superb tahap tertinggi! Terutamanya gimik sambutan Kemerdekaan. Rasa seronok sangat. Sesi Warisan Bangsa dan Budaya memang tak menghampakan. Pengacara pun seronok. Kemain lagi masuk dewan guna basikal. Terkejut orang duk belakang tengok tetiba masuk guna basikal. Dengan jalur gemilangnya lagi. Aduhai. Terima kasih lah sebab menceriakan hari kami seminggu tu dengan mengorbankan cuti.
Nanti sambung lagi. Nak bersiap ke kelas.
Here's Your Perfect
Written by Ann
It's Coming..Soon Something in my mind told me that...
.A-YO ! Hello Everybody(!)?
Well, yesterday I got my upu result and I got it. I can further my study and I might get my degree at such a young age. So what's the problem?
Here the main problem is. I wanted to be an accountant. Yup. That's it. A years back, my uncle suggested me to be a teacher and teach English. He said this country needed more teachers who can teach english. But, I ignored him. I said I never wanna be a teacher. That occupation was never on my job-I-want list.
I stubbornly entered a matriculation college with accountancy as my major. When things go hard, I lost my focus. I did terrible mistakes. I changed my mind. I wanna be teacher like what my uncle suggested to me. My dad likes it too if I become a teacher. But then, I lost my focus. I don't wanna be a teacher. I don't want anything. Like, what's happening to my beautiful world? Why is it so complicated?
Anyway, I finished my study in the matriculation college with flying colour. Maybe a few colours.
And yesterday, I got the offer to study with Technology Management as my major. And lemme tell you what added up my problem. Yes. Bachelor in Technology Management. Excuse me, management. I studied accountancy for 3 freaking years! Why the hell did I got you? My first option was ACCOUNTANCY! I feel like wanna cry. What have I done to deserve this problem?!
The sms stated that I got it and congratulated me. It doesn't tell me what my major. I was so happy before I checked it. I 100% sure it will be ACCOUNT again. I ran upstair to my room, looked for my printed upu application paper and BOMB! Bachelor in Technology Management. Tell me what the fish is that thing about? Should I feel happy? I feel like being stabbed millions times. My entire family were so happy! Their daughter, grandaughter, niece got the offer to further study in bachelor and there I was at the corner whatsapp-ing my bff. My ex-classmates got accountancy. Most of them.
I never felt so much hurt before, This hurt me. I don't know about this course and my family happy for me because I can further my study.
Show me the way,God.
Here's Your Perfect
Written by Ann
Because It's Me Something in my mind told me that...
.A-YO ! Hello Everybody(!)?
I do care, I promise
I don't know why it is so difficult to post something here now. I used to post various random topics back then. Guess I lost myself again to the level that I unable to think what to share. All those tutorials, those posts, I deleted. I don't know what's happening to me when I was deleting them one by one. I wanna write something here, I wanna share what I feel like to share but it's not that easy now.
That day, I feel different.
That day? What day? I don't know. It happened in a blink of eyes. It happened just like that. I can't even explain what actually happened. How can I trapped in this kind of world? It filled with languages I barely understand. No. I don't even understand a word back then! Not even a word. I was not even know what fangirling is. Fandom? What is that? It's been 5 years since I involved in this kpop stuff. It was terrible back then, I did nothing but looking at those kpop groups and giggled all by myself like a freak. I watched all those Korean dramas and not even missed one episode. 1 am? 2 am? I can watch it till 6 am! No sleep and go to school after that. IT WAS CRAZY! I KNEW! How can I became that addicted? IT WAS SUPER DUPER UNBELIEVEABLE!
Well, we all know about 'Rebel Age' right? It was during that season, LOL. I was rebelling that I tortured myself. I didn't even care about my health. That was how I rebelled. I guess that way is better. Like, what if I did what everyone did during that age? My not-so-called friends at that age went to night club, got drunk, involved in illegal racing, yelled back at their parents, and suprise! some even got pregnant and got married at such a young age!
So, Korean people, I would like to thank you for coming into my life during that times. It was unplanned, trust me. Nowadays, I'm not that active in that kpop field. Slowly, I become an adult but still fangirling. I'm still a member in that field, in fact I'm a VVVVIP in that field. I don't need to do anything, I know everything that happens. Ask me, and I can answer you back with a long definitions and explainations. You might get a smiley too. LOL. More suprising, I can understand almost all words in Korean now.
Society don't understand us being like this. They'll said we're crazy, they said we're being obsessed with people who doesn't know we're exist. It hurts to hear all that. Why is it wrong to be a kpopper? We're still supporting our local celebrities. Tell me what kind of variety show that we have here? None.But we still watch those cooking shows,news and dramas. Korean people make various kind of variety shows to entertain their people. And it entertain us too so we watch it. Why do you expect us to watch all those ridiculous politic problems in this country? God, I almost cursed when it comes to politic. If you can't help, please don't make it worst.
Do not underestimate our ability to make your mouth shut if you keep on doing this. You said we're being childish then wait till we're being mature about it. Even your politicians unable to help you. Open your eyes, society. Everyone has their own way to entertain themself. Life is like that.
If you happened to have kids like that, be grateful. Stop telling them to be like their friends. You're lucky they addicted to kpop things, at least they're not addicted to drug. Just ask them to slow down a bit, and everything will be alright. This is how they overcome every pains in their life. Help them, not scold them. Its never that easy to be a teenager nowadays and to make it harder, parents don't even understand how hard it is to be a teenager in this century.
Here's Your Perfect
Written by Ann
Dunia Baru Something in my mind told me that...
.A-YO ! Hello Everybody(!)?
12 tahun bersekolah sejak dari zaman tadika, sekali pun tak pernah masuk asrama. Siapa sangka, lepas ni aku kena pergi juga tinggal di asrama, di negeri orang pula tu. Hati ibu bapa mana yang rela melepaskan anak perempuan mereka hidup sendirian di negeri orang kan. Tambah-tambah lagi, anak perempuan mereka ni manja nak mati. Haha. Tapi keputusan ni aku yang buat, aku sendiri yang decide. Meskipun dapat UiTM yang kampusnya di Segamat, aku tetap pilih Kolej Matrikulasi Pahang.
Apa salahnya kalau kali ni aku hidup berdikari kan? Biasakan diri hidup berdisiplin. Ya. Sebab aku pilih matrikulasi adalah kerana aku nak disiplinkan diri sendiri dengan lebih baik. Biarlah orang kata belajar di Kolej Matrikulasi, jadual waktu padat,ketat,melekat sekalipun, memang itu yang aku nak. Sampai bila hidup aku asyik nak senang lenang aja kan? Makin tinggi kita belajar maknanya makin sukarlah hidup. Bukan mudah nak jadi orang dewasa. Apa salahnya kalau aku mula dari sekarang kan? Biarpun berat rasa hati ni nak pergi hidup kat negeri orang. Dari kecil kot aku dibawa ke Johor walaupun negeri asal kelahiran di Sarawak.
Lepas ni, aku akan tinggal di Sarawak. Jadi, biarlah rasa hidup di negeri Pahang dulu kan? Peluang dah datang, takkan nak sia-sia kan. Ex-ex budak KM sibuk warn kami bakal student KM tentang MPPB. Nanti tak cukup tidurlah, tak sempat mandilah, tak cukup makanlah untuk seminggu tu katanya. Hmm..sedikit pun aku tak gentar. Haha. Okay aku bohong, aku seram sikitlah part tak cukup mandi seminggu tu. Aku ni dah lah hantu bilik mandi. Tak cukup mandi 2/3 kali mandi dalam sehari rasa macam nak gila. Haha. Nak sambung belajar ni, satu aja aku BENCI sangat nak buat. Kenalkan diri. Gila benci aku nak kenalkan diri ni. Lagi-lagi kalau kena berdiri depan kelas, kenalkan diri. Pergh! Rasa nak tembak diri-sendiri aja.
Apa-apa pun, selamat maju jaya kawan-kawan seangkatan. Sediakan senjata anda dan berjuanglah! Macam nak berperang aja. Hmp! Goodluck! ... to myself.
Here's Your Perfect
Written by Ann
Ma Inspiration ** Something in my mind told me that...
.A-YO ! Hello Everybody(!)?
Finally, I feel like I'm getting better. Eventhough I still can't find myself in me. Maybe, this is the time for me to change. I never thought that I'm gonna change into this kind of person. I feel different yet comfortable. I feel awkward yet fun.
The exams just around the corner. I admitted that I'm still playing and joking a round a bit. But that is the only way to beat stress. It works to me. You guys might can try it too. Study till late night is like a daily routine for me. But my beloved Baes told me that I need to have a good sleep time or else I might get sick. Aren't they sweet? I know.
My only advice is, no matter how hard, how bad your day today, always think and set in your mind "Tomorrow Will Be Better" . Life only once. Don't give up just because of one bad day. Smile, people. Its only bad day, not bad life. No one know what future might brings. Till then, hang on people. Always smile. Show the world your smile. Conquer the world with your bright smile.
Love. Smile. Love.
Remember that people. Eventhough you're about to collapse, smile and say "Tomorrow will be better". Just hang in there and live your life. This is WORLD people. Welcome to the real world. People will judge you, push you and etc. So what? Did you born to make those judges satisfy? NO. You born to be who you are and live as you are. Sometimes, you gotta be bold. Don't let them step on you. You can do it, I can do it, together we do it. Be happy people. Don't ruin the day. Don't ruin your mood. Stay healthy and happy. Those bad memories just leave them behind, a BRIGHT permanent memories are waiting in the future.
May God Bless all of you, silent readers. I hope you can get what you want and be happy. Smile before you leave my website. Thank you :).
Here's Your Perfect
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The Queen
 Hello.
Mine;
✩ Ann for short
✩ 18 years old
✩ I love kids, so cute !
✩ Playing netball and badminton
✩ In love with Black,Red,Purple and Gold
✩ Love to help people who in need
✩ Blogwalking and leave step
✩ Playing with kids *childish :3
✩ Love God,Family,Friends, and Followers
Likes;
ツ Secretive
ツ Sleep
ツ Watermelon, Orange, Apple, Banana and Mango
ツ Crying, Laughing, Singing, Smile
ツ Online, Listening to the Musics
ツ Reading Novels
ツ Learn new language
Hates;
X Anons
X Copycats
X Spammers
X Backstabbers
X Kpop haters
X Liars
X Haters
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In The Stars
Hi there. Well, lemme apologize to you a real quick. My amnesia is getting worse nowsaday, yet that one thing I wanna forget the most is still in my core memory, alive.
The thing is, another huge wound occured.
Last August 2nd 2022 was unforgettable. That exact morning, that uneasy feeling that wakes me up, I can still feel it till today. I still remember that morning, I woke up feeling unsettle and checking my phone.
5.28 a.m.
I was casually chatting via WhatsApp with my friend, whom happened to be having to work on a morning shift so she also woke up early. Funny part is that she sent me a Tik Tok account of her friend for only us and God know why. Not even 10 minutes later, my mom knocked my bedroom door, crying, before telling me the news I still refuse to accept. It's like a sword to my ears. She told me "Mang, akek d dah nadai ( Your grandfather passed away)".
Just like that, half of my world collapsed. My mom right after told me that, she looked at me with her teary eyes, nodded her head to clarify me that it's not a dream before closed the door and left me. It took me a minute to digest the info, before I totally lost it and burst in tears.
My grandfather, Augustine Kunjan was a very noble and loving figure to me in my 25 years of being his first grandchild. He's not that grandfather whom spoil his grandchildren with wealth, he's that home where you will wanna to come to as often as possible. He will brag and ensure every single person he met know that he always proud of his grandchildren no matter what kind of achievement it is. If that thing is his grandchildren' excitements, then it will be his as well.
Time keep on passing by and he was getting older and lost like 30% of his senses, be it hearing or sighting, but that was fine as long as he recognized me and still wanna talk with me, I was grateful. I can tell him whatever I want without feeling judged. He will just sit there, sipping his coffee, smiling and laughing depends on my face expression while telling him sort of stuffs. I always amazed by how he was able to just go along with me, neither any questions nor interruption happened. Every single time, he would've laughed, amazed and mesmerised with my stories.
Never once, he compared any of his grandchildren between each other or with other people. For him, all of us have our very own stories.
Now that he's no longer seen, everything is dull to me. He was the one whom taking care of my father's house, which is his eldest son. I don't know if I will be able to look at our house the same way anymore. I mean, everyday he will sit there with a cup of coffee in front of our door. That is what hurting me more because I would've join him, with my very own cup of coffee. Even silence feels comfortable when I see him, and that's when I can confirmed that I took after him. He took a big piece of my heart and let it rest in peace with him.
I tried to convince myself that this phase will go soon. Yet, here I am still crying while driving whenever his image comes in my mind.
I miss him, forever.
Bucket Lists?
When I was younger, I always said to myself that I will achieve everything I want. And now, when I'm growing up to be an adult, I wanna be the younger version of me and I will tell myself that whatever happens are destined.
I keep on changing my bucketlists; everytime.
I can't believe I finally continue this post that I left long time ago (it stated here dated August 24th 2018 at 2.06PM). But, guess what time is it now that I'm typing all this starting from the word 'everytime' up there? It's 10.48PM of June 7th in the year of freaking 2022 !!!!
I tell you what, there were so many things happened that I don't even wanna know where to start.
But hey! Gotta stick to the title I guess. Lemme figured out few things;
- I have finished my degree! Your girl Ann is a Bachelor in Technology Management with Honors!
- Also, I got a very official job last March 2021. And that during a pandemic ! Duh!
- I finally got to bring my parents to my C-O-N-V-O-C-A-T-I-O-N DAY ! It was held last February 2022, it got delayed due to pandemic. They cried on that day, and so was I.
- I am currently in process of getting my VERY OWN CAR! Your girl is getting her own CAR! I already bought my beautiful accessories. I promise to show you when my pretty princess got into my hand.
- Travelling. I still haven't got the chance to do so but this will be like my before-I-die kind of thing. You know your girl will turn
25 next 2 days. Probably time to ask for green pass for travelling? I wish.
Well that's it I guess. Seems like I am back to blogging. I miss myself typing this kind of thing actually. Probably going to writing again soon? I don't know though. I've been completely different person past years. Not trynna go back to my past self, just wanna improve myself with my past hobbies. If that what we called it. I wanna do things I like again. I miss it so much.
Its Died
When you're no longer feels the butterflies
The butterflies in my stomach are dead
They died.
I no longer feel the beat
I feel empty
Nothing
I tried
I want to open up my heart
I want to feel the excitement
Again
But its a failure
What a magic. I wonder what kind of pain hit me during my past that make me became someone heartless. Completely heartless. Being heartless is not an easy thing. There is no more love in it. Feels like you have no heart. It's not like I want to be in love, it just I kinda miss that stuff. Crush on someone, tell my friends about him. But, what I've done so far was telling my friends about people who tried to open up my heart for me, but they failed. I tried to be more open minded about it so I told my friends, but there were no feeling anymore. All the messages, tweets, they were just a LIE for I-Dont-Know-The-Reason. There is no longer feeling in my heart. Its been a long time since those butterflies awaken. Today, I realise that they are dead. The butterflies in my stomach now slowly turn into dust and fly away. It hurts being heartless. The pain is real.
Can I?
There were times where I lost my focus
It's week 3 now, as I stated before here I have no regret with what I chose now. I satisfied with everything. My room, my bed, my locker, my housemates, my roommates well maybe classmates too.
Or maybe I can still feel comfort with everything despite that all of it is new to me. I mean, it just week 3. I have to survive here for 4 years! Maybe the obstacle isn't here yet or maybe it's waiting for the right time to crash on me.
I have to compete with people that are older than me, and it's not fun. I mean, I became a leader and need to lead those people that older than me. As beginner, I did quite a good job because they listened to me or maybe because they needed to listen to my words. But trust me, it was not easy to command people that older that you. Sometimes I feel rude.
To add more, I have 8 classes per week. It quite challenging you know in waiting for buses to come and pick you up to go to the class and those buses ignore you because the drivers needed to rest but excuse me sir, we're late already. And the next 2 buses also don't wanna stop. And when the fourth bus stop, in a blink of eyes, you can see the people in the bus look like Sardine fishes filled in a small can. NO! Do not expect me to go in there and stuffed. One hour to get a bus, what a 'convenient' service. I paid thousands only to get this kind of services. Wow! Impressive! What next? No bus during weekend. Okay, I'm fine. I can walk to the campus to go to the library. It just 5 kilometres away. I'm fine with it. Only to know that library closed on weekend. Yeah. Still fine.
Those things that happened, is like a piece of paper to me. Why? Because the harder ones are waiting in the future. Ini baru sikit weh. banyak lagi beratur di hadapan menanti masa sesuai untuk cabar diri ini. But to be honest, I am sure enough that I can face all this things. It just I can't handle people. The biggest obstacle no matter where you go.
I bet I need to be a person to handle people or maybe just be a potato. The spicy one.
New Lifestyle
7 September 2016
Lokasi menaip isi blog ini ialah di Universiti Tun Hussein Onn Malaysia. Ya. Saya terima tawaran untuk menyambung pelajaran saya ke peringkat Ijazah Sarjana Muda dalam Pengurusan Teknologi tanpa kesal. Saya terima tawaran walaupun terkilan kerana tawaran tersebut merupakan pilihan keempat semasa membuat permohonan upu dulu tapi sebab sepanjang pendaftaran saya, semuanya berjalan dengan begitu lancar tanpa ada sebarang gangguan. Maka saya yakin akan jalan yang Tuhan permudahkan untuk saya.
Harini jam 11 pagi saya akan melangkah masuk ke kelas kelima saya minggu ini iaitu kelas Tamadun Islam dan Tamadun Asia. Subjek wajib. Kena hadir. Tetapi masalah sikit bila tak dapat daftar koko. Bukan masalah sangat sebab boleh ambil bila-bila tapi itulah gelabah kan sebab tak pernah buat semua ni. Jadual semua kena buat sendiri.
Tak cukup lagi, hari pertama aja sesat cari kelas. Nasib datang awal sejam sebelum kelas bermula, ada masa untuk pusing satu fakulti dengan classmate. Dulu ingatkan masa sesi orientasi, abang2 kakak2 fasi akan tunjuk atau ajar cara susun jadual dan lokasi2 yang berkemungkinan diadakan kelas. Tapi asyik bertepuk tangan aja. Haha, Tak apa la itu pun menyeronokkan. Tambah lagi dengan gimik yang memang superb tahap tertinggi! Terutamanya gimik sambutan Kemerdekaan. Rasa seronok sangat. Sesi Warisan Bangsa dan Budaya memang tak menghampakan. Pengacara pun seronok. Kemain lagi masuk dewan guna basikal. Terkejut orang duk belakang tengok tetiba masuk guna basikal. Dengan jalur gemilangnya lagi. Aduhai. Terima kasih lah sebab menceriakan hari kami seminggu tu dengan mengorbankan cuti.
Nanti sambung lagi. Nak bersiap ke kelas.
It's Coming..Soon
Well, yesterday I got my upu result and I got it. I can further my study and I might get my degree at such a young age. So what's the problem?
Here the main problem is. I wanted to be an accountant. Yup. That's it. A years back, my uncle suggested me to be a teacher and teach English. He said this country needed more teachers who can teach english. But, I ignored him. I said I never wanna be a teacher. That occupation was never on my job-I-want list.
I stubbornly entered a matriculation college with accountancy as my major. When things go hard, I lost my focus. I did terrible mistakes. I changed my mind. I wanna be teacher like what my uncle suggested to me. My dad likes it too if I become a teacher. But then, I lost my focus. I don't wanna be a teacher. I don't want anything. Like, what's happening to my beautiful world? Why is it so complicated?
Anyway, I finished my study in the matriculation college with flying colour. Maybe a few colours.
And yesterday, I got the offer to study with Technology Management as my major. And lemme tell you what added up my problem. Yes. Bachelor in Technology Management. Excuse me, management. I studied accountancy for 3 freaking years! Why the hell did I got you? My first option was ACCOUNTANCY! I feel like wanna cry. What have I done to deserve this problem?!
The sms stated that I got it and congratulated me. It doesn't tell me what my major. I was so happy before I checked it. I 100% sure it will be ACCOUNT again. I ran upstair to my room, looked for my printed upu application paper and BOMB! Bachelor in Technology Management. Tell me what the fish is that thing about? Should I feel happy? I feel like being stabbed millions times. My entire family were so happy! Their daughter, grandaughter, niece got the offer to further study in bachelor and there I was at the corner whatsapp-ing my bff. My ex-classmates got accountancy. Most of them.
I never felt so much hurt before, This hurt me. I don't know about this course and my family happy for me because I can further my study.
Show me the way,God.
Because It's Me
I do care, I promise
I don't know why it is so difficult to post something here now. I used to post various random topics back then. Guess I lost myself again to the level that I unable to think what to share. All those tutorials, those posts, I deleted. I don't know what's happening to me when I was deleting them one by one. I wanna write something here, I wanna share what I feel like to share but it's not that easy now.
That day, I feel different.
That day? What day? I don't know. It happened in a blink of eyes. It happened just like that. I can't even explain what actually happened. How can I trapped in this kind of world? It filled with languages I barely understand. No. I don't even understand a word back then! Not even a word. I was not even know what fangirling is. Fandom? What is that? It's been 5 years since I involved in this kpop stuff. It was terrible back then, I did nothing but looking at those kpop groups and giggled all by myself like a freak. I watched all those Korean dramas and not even missed one episode. 1 am? 2 am? I can watch it till 6 am! No sleep and go to school after that. IT WAS CRAZY! I KNEW! How can I became that addicted? IT WAS SUPER DUPER UNBELIEVEABLE!
Well, we all know about 'Rebel Age' right? It was during that season, LOL. I was rebelling that I tortured myself. I didn't even care about my health. That was how I rebelled. I guess that way is better. Like, what if I did what everyone did during that age? My not-so-called friends at that age went to night club, got drunk, involved in illegal racing, yelled back at their parents, and suprise! some even got pregnant and got married at such a young age!
So, Korean people, I would like to thank you for coming into my life during that times. It was unplanned, trust me. Nowadays, I'm not that active in that kpop field. Slowly, I become an adult but still fangirling. I'm still a member in that field, in fact I'm a VVVVIP in that field. I don't need to do anything, I know everything that happens. Ask me, and I can answer you back with a long definitions and explainations. You might get a smiley too. LOL. More suprising, I can understand almost all words in Korean now.
Society don't understand us being like this. They'll said we're crazy, they said we're being obsessed with people who doesn't know we're exist. It hurts to hear all that. Why is it wrong to be a kpopper? We're still supporting our local celebrities. Tell me what kind of variety show that we have here? None.But we still watch those cooking shows,news and dramas. Korean people make various kind of variety shows to entertain their people. And it entertain us too so we watch it. Why do you expect us to watch all those ridiculous politic problems in this country? God, I almost cursed when it comes to politic. If you can't help, please don't make it worst.
Do not underestimate our ability to make your mouth shut if you keep on doing this. You said we're being childish then wait till we're being mature about it. Even your politicians unable to help you. Open your eyes, society. Everyone has their own way to entertain themself. Life is like that.
If you happened to have kids like that, be grateful. Stop telling them to be like their friends. You're lucky they addicted to kpop things, at least they're not addicted to drug. Just ask them to slow down a bit, and everything will be alright. This is how they overcome every pains in their life. Help them, not scold them. Its never that easy to be a teenager nowadays and to make it harder, parents don't even understand how hard it is to be a teenager in this century.
Dunia Baru
12 tahun bersekolah sejak dari zaman tadika, sekali pun tak pernah masuk asrama. Siapa sangka, lepas ni aku kena pergi juga tinggal di asrama, di negeri orang pula tu. Hati ibu bapa mana yang rela melepaskan anak perempuan mereka hidup sendirian di negeri orang kan. Tambah-tambah lagi, anak perempuan mereka ni manja nak mati. Haha. Tapi keputusan ni aku yang buat, aku sendiri yang decide. Meskipun dapat UiTM yang kampusnya di Segamat, aku tetap pilih Kolej Matrikulasi Pahang.
Apa salahnya kalau kali ni aku hidup berdikari kan? Biasakan diri hidup berdisiplin. Ya. Sebab aku pilih matrikulasi adalah kerana aku nak disiplinkan diri sendiri dengan lebih baik. Biarlah orang kata belajar di Kolej Matrikulasi, jadual waktu padat,ketat,melekat sekalipun, memang itu yang aku nak. Sampai bila hidup aku asyik nak senang lenang aja kan? Makin tinggi kita belajar maknanya makin sukarlah hidup. Bukan mudah nak jadi orang dewasa. Apa salahnya kalau aku mula dari sekarang kan? Biarpun berat rasa hati ni nak pergi hidup kat negeri orang. Dari kecil kot aku dibawa ke Johor walaupun negeri asal kelahiran di Sarawak.
Lepas ni, aku akan tinggal di Sarawak. Jadi, biarlah rasa hidup di negeri Pahang dulu kan? Peluang dah datang, takkan nak sia-sia kan. Ex-ex budak KM sibuk warn kami bakal student KM tentang MPPB. Nanti tak cukup tidurlah, tak sempat mandilah, tak cukup makanlah untuk seminggu tu katanya. Hmm..sedikit pun aku tak gentar. Haha. Okay aku bohong, aku seram sikitlah part tak cukup mandi seminggu tu. Aku ni dah lah hantu bilik mandi. Tak cukup mandi 2/3 kali mandi dalam sehari rasa macam nak gila. Haha. Nak sambung belajar ni, satu aja aku BENCI sangat nak buat. Kenalkan diri. Gila benci aku nak kenalkan diri ni. Lagi-lagi kalau kena berdiri depan kelas, kenalkan diri. Pergh! Rasa nak tembak diri-sendiri aja.
Apa-apa pun, selamat maju jaya kawan-kawan seangkatan. Sediakan senjata anda dan berjuanglah! Macam nak berperang aja. Hmp! Goodluck! ... to myself.
Ma Inspiration **
Finally, I feel like I'm getting better. Eventhough I still can't find myself in me. Maybe, this is the time for me to change. I never thought that I'm gonna change into this kind of person. I feel different yet comfortable. I feel awkward yet fun.
The exams just around the corner. I admitted that I'm still playing and joking a round a bit. But that is the only way to beat stress. It works to me. You guys might can try it too. Study till late night is like a daily routine for me. But my beloved Baes told me that I need to have a good sleep time or else I might get sick. Aren't they sweet? I know.
My only advice is, no matter how hard, how bad your day today, always think and set in your mind "Tomorrow Will Be Better" . Life only once. Don't give up just because of one bad day. Smile, people. Its only bad day, not bad life. No one know what future might brings. Till then, hang on people. Always smile. Show the world your smile. Conquer the world with your bright smile.
Love. Smile. Love.
Remember that people. Eventhough you're about to collapse, smile and say "Tomorrow will be better". Just hang in there and live your life. This is WORLD people. Welcome to the real world. People will judge you, push you and etc. So what? Did you born to make those judges satisfy? NO. You born to be who you are and live as you are. Sometimes, you gotta be bold. Don't let them step on you. You can do it, I can do it, together we do it. Be happy people. Don't ruin the day. Don't ruin your mood. Stay healthy and happy. Those bad memories just leave them behind, a BRIGHT permanent memories are waiting in the future.
May God Bless all of you, silent readers. I hope you can get what you want and be happy. Smile before you leave my website. Thank you :).
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Re-tweaked by Ann.All rights reserved 2015 © Ann
